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Friday Follies 2.35

I don’t know that calling something “the greatest legal document ever filed in Irving (Tex.) Municipal Court” is the greatest praise, by a Texas lawyer’s motion for continuance does have a certain flair. (via)

ATL also notes there’s a lawyer who quit his job to return to Texas for the World Series, fairly pointing out: “I don’t think I’m going out on a limb to say that if you have a job that you would happily quit to watch your team in the World Series, you’ve made bad life decisions.”

Meanwhile, in the realm of amateur sports in Texas (to the extent any football is amateur in the state), a pee-wee football club has sued the league it is in for barring a a junior varsity team and requiring it to forfeit games because a parent changed his son’s report card.

A New York judge has ruled that a four-year-old child can be sued for running into an 87-year-old woman while riding her bike, with training wheels, on a Manhattan sidewalk.

Just so you know, free speech rights do not protect a mistress from screaming at her lover’s wife, at least according to the North Dakota Supreme Court.

A former McDonald’s manager in Brazil was awarded $17,500 in a lawsuit against the company in which he claimed the company was the cause of the 65 pounds he gained during his 12 years on the job.

Baltimore, meanwhile, “appears undisturbed that if trans fats are outlawed, only outlaws will have trans fats.”

I don’t think it takes experience as an appellate lawyer to speculate that you worsen the chances of your petition for rehearing being granted when you use the phrase “slime ball, piece of shit, ass clown judges.” (via)

Because of “a ton of complaints from frightened single mothers and senior citizens,” the town of Belleville, Ill., has an ordinance on the books banning anyone over age 12 from trick-or-treating. (via)

In other holiday news, students at Suffolk University Law School have issued a guide to suing Santa Claus.


Don’t try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they’re fascist.

Crash Davis (Kevin Costner), Bull Durham

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