Friday Follies 3.10

Shortest (and best????) deposition ever?

A homeless woman has been charged with a felony theft for allegedly lying about her address to get her son into a better school. (via)

People who sued themselves.

A Mississippi county judge has been suspended for 90 days after telling a woman he would “fix” the fine he gave her for public drunkenness in exchange for a sexual act. He told investigators “the devil got ahold” of his tongue and “made it wicked.”

A federal appeals court is suggesting a lawyer and his client, who was working in the Pentagon and injured on September 11, 2001, pay $15,000 in sanctions for a lawsuit alleging the Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney caused the attacks for political purposes. The Court called her claims a plane did not crash into the Pentagon “a fantastical alternative history.” (How could I forget? Since the court is part of government, it is in on the conspiracy.)

A Cincinnati police officer was fired after a public decency conviction for exposing himself to employees at a Sears store. His version? He pulled his zipper down “in an attempt to determine who would advise him that his zipper was down.” (via)

The trial transcript quotes Ms. Hayden as saying Murphy called her a snitch bitch “hoe.” A “hoe,” of course, is a tool used for weeding and gardening. We think the court reporter, unfamiliar with rap music (perhaps thankfully so), misunderstood Hayden’s response. We have taken the liberty of changing “hoe” to “ho.”

U.S. v. Murphy, No. 04-2293, (7th Cir. May 4, 2005)

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