Friday Follies 1.24

Among the issues on the North Dakota Supreme Court’s docket is whether breast implants are considered “marital assets” in a divorce. For what it’s worth, the trial judge said the claim was “absolutely nonsense.” (Via.)

And I wonder if male reporters are fighting over covering this trademark infringement trial. It tain’t often those types of cases are expected to be “filled with many images of ample-chested women” and have testimony about “focusing on the boob element, so to speak” or “bringing elegance back to erotica.” (Via.)

Remember last week’s “couch of restitution”? Well, turns out the particular lawyer is 83 and, according to the Detroit News, he “cited his age and lack of sexual vigor as evidence the allegations are absurd.” I wouldn’t think either of those precludes the old college try. (Via.)

The “benefits” of alcohol: “Daniel L. Shilts Jr., 36, of Waldo, Wisconsin was arrested after his fifth DWI and then urinated on the back of the head of the officer taking him to jail.”

Lawyers apparently love to capitalize words. Pleadings … are commonly full of words that are capitalized, not quite randomly, but certainly with great abandon.” That is just one of the actually very useful suggestions made by U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Robert Kressel in his Order Preparation Guidelines.

About half the practice of a decent lawyer consists of telling would-be clients that they are damned fools and should stop.

Elihu Root, quoted in Elihu Root by Phillip Jessup

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