Friday Follies 3.14

Federal appeals court says a lawsuit by “a disgruntled cheerleader mom” over whether her daughter should have made the cheer squad is no more than “a petty squabble … that has no place in federal court or any other court.” And don’t miss the footnote on the last page of the opinion. (via)

Meanwhile, the Iowa Court of Appeals Supreme Court says, “If it looks like feces, if it smells like feces, if it has the color and texture of feces, then it must be feces.” Once again, a footnote at the end of the opinion discussing “numerous popular usages” of the word “shit” is alone worth the read. (via)

What do you do when the first hit man you hire fails? Hire another hit man to kill the first hit man (as well as your wife and mother-in-law).

A woman is suing the New York Corrections Department for calling her brother, convicted of murder, an “inmate” because it “implies that our brother is locked up for the purpose of mating with other men.”

Meanwhile, a jail inmate in Michigan has filed suit, claiming the jail’s ban on pornography is cruel and unusual punishment because it results in “sexual and sensory deprivation.” (via)

People are just bastard covered bastards with bastard filling.

Dr. Bob Kelso (Ken Jenkins), Scrubs, “My Common Enemy

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