Thoroughly modern males?

Wondering what makes a modern man?’ I can’t say I was but Thursday I stumbled across a link to The 2009 Great Male Survey that AskMen.com conducted with about 50,000 of its readers I’m not sure how definitive or valid the survey is but it asked a wide range of questions and had responses not only from from Americans but also the U.K., Canada and Australia.

So, here’s just a few of its many insights into the state of manhood today:

• 81 percent of American males believe a couple should live together before marriage. But we’re still evidently prudes. 86 percent of Canadian men, 90 percent of the Aussies and 92 percent of Brits supporting living together before marriage.
• 63 percent of American men said they’ve never paid for sex and “never would.” Only just more than half of Australian men said that.
• 46 percent of American men “don’t give a damn what people think of my car” while 23 percent want people to be impressed by their car.
• 77 percent of Americans say moral standards in business are in decline but of those 15 percent say “it’s made business more efficient.”
• 84 percent of the Americans say most accusations of sexual harassment in the workplace aren’t justified.
• If they could get away with it, only 26 percent of American men would punch their boss in the face — but 48 percent would punch a co-worker in the face.
• 67 percent of all men are actively environmentally friendly — “where it’s convenient or painless for me to do so.”
• North Korea was ranked as the biggest threat to the U.S. by 37 percent of all men. Interestingly, the second biggest threat (23 percent) was the United States itself. That comes awfully close to correlating with the 78 percent figure for those who are proud to be an American.
• 87 percent of men don’t use Twitter.
• The highest ranking for best summer movie? “None,” 39 percent.
• Indicating either the split in men’s attitudes or the validity of the survey, when asked how they would remember Sarah Palin, 39 percent said as “the woman who ruined John McCain” while 35 percent said “a hot babe.”
• But when it gets right down to brass tacks, 57 percent said “being ” good father and/or husband who takes care of his family” is what “makes a man a manly man in 2009.” At a distant second, 17 percent said it was “having manly skills, like the ability to fix things.”

So there you have it. Proof once again that manliness is in the eye of the beholder — and that the modern male is as well-balanced, schizophrenic, chauvinistic and chivalrous as ever.

H.L. Mencken