In the immortal words of Frank Costanza in describing the “holiday” he invented, “There must be a better way.”
May your Festivus pole have a very high strength to weight ratio, the grievances against you not too extreme, and the feats of strength painless yet amazing. A few Festivus miracles wouldn’t hurt either.
The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you’re gonna hear about it!