Friday Follies 2.29

Okay, this one may be tough to top. Seems attorney Ed Ablard has filed a civil rights lawsuit because Alexandria, Va., approved a permit for a new barbecue restaurant with an open-air gas grill. He claims the restaurant will “provide a clubhouse for conservative persons to gather to drink until late hours and thereby form a barrier against the encroachment of persons of color[.]” It gets better. Ablard has asked this be a class action lawsuit and says “he is representative of a class of persons who are persons with colored skin[.]” Ablard is Caucasian.

Next door in Maryland, a man is suing a hospital, alleging among other things that its security guards assaulted him when he tried to leave the hospital to avoid surgery to remove a potentially cancerous mass from his chest. The man was in the hospital because of a car accident the day before and was not the person scheduled for the chest surgery.

Drunkenness never ceases to amaze me. “A Polish man living in Germany was unaware he had been shot in the head for five years, because he was drunk when it happened.” Actually, the term that was used was “very drunk.” (via)

But this one I might understand: “A Salt Lake City mortgage company employee allegedly got drunk, opened fired on his firm’s computer server with a .45-caliber automatic, and then told police someone had stolen his gun and caused the damage.” I don’t drink but being on our firm’s technology committee leads me to believe that if the server dies it may be a case of justifiable homicide.

A Toledo lawyer has been suspended for submitting bills in cases in which she was court-appointed where she billed for more than 24 hours on three separate days and in one stretch of 96 hours billed 90.3 of time. Not surprisingly, the Ohio Supreme Court said her fee requests were “simply incredible.”

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Ernest Hemingway, quoted in In the Company of Writers: A Life In Publishing

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