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Book Review: F.U.B.A.R. (2006)

If you couldn’t laugh, you’d cry.

That adage seems to sum up a segment of liberal authors when it comes to the Bush Administration. F.U.B.A.R.: America’s Right-Wing Nightmare, written by the co-host and a producer of Air America Radio‘s “The Majority Report“, is the latest entry in the field of books taking on Bush and the conservative movement through satire, sarcasm and humor. While F.U.B.A.R. has its moments, it won’t stand with the leaders in the genre, such as Al Franken and Michael Moore.

Like their compatriots, Sam Seder, the cohost of “The Majority Report,” and Stephen Sherrill, one of the show’s producers, don’t hold back. It even starts on the cover. Part of the first word of the military phrase for which the acronym “F.U.B.A.R.” stands is blackened out, “redacted by the U.S. Department of Justice, as per the U.S. Patriot Act.” They open the book referring to the current GOP as the “Rapture Right” and “an American Taliban.” Those labels mesh with the fact that much of the authors’ satirical attack on Bush and the GOP is largely on social issues. They start with “intelligent design” and ease right into the concept of the rapture that inspires the name they give the fringe right they believe has gained control of the Republican Party.

In their guide to “Your Place in the Apocalypse,” Seder and Sherrill address how to determine whether you will be taken into heaven or spend eternity in a burning lake of fire with Satan. They warn that if you’re worried about being Satan’s roommate, “the fact you’re even reading this is not a good sign.” How about homosexuals? “You’re doomed. Really, really doomed.” And if you’re a Democrat? “Satan. Fire. Lake. Eternity.”

This type of humor permeates each chapter and the various sidebars. Yet F.U.B.A.R. has some flow problems and some of the humor doesn’t seem to translate as well to the written page as it might to an aural medium.

After starting with intelligent design and religion, Seder and Sherrill move into areas such as Social Security reform and the Clear Skies Initiative. Then they move back to religious or morality-based topics, such as contraception, abortion, abstinence and even “Life as a Gay Republican.” Next, we move to their “Consumer Report on Buying a Congressman” and examination of some Bush appointees before returning to being a gay Republican (this time a congressman) and how to speak religiously. In addition to being somewhat choppy, the reader wonders why the authors decided to discuss an issue again, albeit from a slightly different perspective.

F.U.B.A.R. may be at it’s best with Seder’s and Sherrill’s parodies. Their version of the speech FDR would have given after Pearl Harbor if he were the same type of “war president” as Bush is alone almost worth the price of admission. Equally as entertaining, if not more, is their skewering of the media, particularly New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman. Seder and Sherrill present three columns Friedman might have written had he been present at historical events. His column on Galileo’s inquisition is titled, “The World is Flat,” and Friedman treats the massacre at Wounded Knee as a skirmish with “antidemocractic forces” in the effort to bring democracy to the Sioux nation.

Seder and Sherrill pepper the work with sufficient facts to make their satirical approach more biting and, for some, more alarming. Yet some of it tends to come off more as script for stand-up comedy.

Given their background and the book’s title, no one is going to wonder where Seder and Sherrill stand on the issues. As a result, F.U.B.A.R. is a sermon for the choir. But even if they’re heading for that lake of fire, a choir still needs a laugh once in a while.


It’s the Rapture Right Paradox: to whatever extent you realize Bush and the Rapture Right have fucked America up, it’s always worse. However worse you think it is, it’s worser.

Sam Seder & Stephen Sherrill, F.U.B.A.R.

J.A.I.L.’s California shell game – Chapter 6

Remember when South Dakota J.A.I.L.er-in-chief Bill Stegmeier announced his resignation from Jail4Judges and distanced himself from Ron Branson, the author of the Judicial Accountability Initiative Law? Stegmeier said he was going to “sever all ties” to that organization. Likewise, J.A.I.L.’s new “publicist” advised everyone that “Mr. Stegmeier would be taking steps to insure the public is aware the two groups are separate and not affiliated.”

Yet it appears the California shell game continues. If you come across the new brochure the J.A.I.L.ers are circulating you’ll see something interesting. It says: “For questions or comments concerning the South Dakota Judicial Accountability Amendment contact Gary Zerman at 605-xxx-xxxx.” A couple things make this interesting.

One is rather simple. Don’t be surprised to find that the phone number for Zerman is a cell phone number. That’s because Zerman is a practicing attorney in California.

More important, Zerman is intimately involved with Jail4Judges. In fact, in a message to J.A.I.L.ers nationally, Branson and “Barbie” of the national organization took credit for recommending to Stegmeier that Zerman become spokesman for South Dakota J.A.I.L.

Whom did we know that would most closely fill all those prerequisites, and be a good spokesperson for J.A.I.L.? We thought “The only one we know of who would definitely qualify would be the one who has voluntarily been the Public Relations Representative for National J.A.I.L. and who has been doing a superb job for several years.” And most of you know who that is: the one and only Attorney Gary Zerman!

Nor is PR rep Zerman’s only involvement with Jail4Judges. He formed J.A.I.L. with Branson. He helped write the initiative. He is “the number two man within J.A.I.L.’s national movement.” He holds the rank of National J.A.I.L. Lt. Commander-In-Chief. He is Legal Counsel for Jail4Judges.

And, evidently, he remains a lead spokesman for J.A.I.L. in South Dakota. I guess despite what Stegmeier and crew say publicly, they’re having a tough time cutting those California ties (or puppet strings).


People always overdo the matter when they attempt deception.

Charles Dudley Warner, My Summer in a Garden

More BS from Billy Steg

It appears part of the campaign for the Judicial Accountability Initiative Law (J.A.I.L.) is to attack the Legislature. J.A.I.L.er-in-chief Bill Stegmeier has told the Associated Press the yarn that the Legislature violated the state constitution and state law by unanimously passing a resolution opposing J.A.I.L. As usual, it’s BS.

Stegmeier told the AP the resolution “violates the state constitution by interfering in an election and violates a state law prohibiting publication of false information on ballot measures.” J.A.I.L. has previously said the Legislature’s action violates two provisions of the South Dakota Constitution: Article VI, § 19 and Article VII, § 1. Both contain the following language: “Elections shall be free and equal, and no power, civil or military, shall at any time interfere to prevent the free exercise of the right of suffrage[.]” The J.A.I.L.ers claim the resolution somehow violates the free exercise of the right to vote.

This exact language appears in many state constitutions. Yet the cases analyzing those provisions are clear. The right protected by these provisions is the right to vote and applies to situations where the right of a voter is somehow directly impinged. The resolution has no impact on anyone’s right to vote. All qualified voters remain free to walk into their local polling place and cast whatever vote they want not only on J.A.I.L. but in any other race or ballot question. In fact, a Washington court specifically rejected a similar challenge, noting that a resolution adopted by a city council opposing a ballot measure “served beneficial purposes, including generation of public interest and debate [and] informing citizens of their elected representatives’ stands on the ballot issue[.]”

The other BS claim is the resolution violates SDCL 12-13-16, which makes it a misdemeanor to print, publish or deliver any document about a ballot issue that gives “false or misleading information” to South Dakota voters. This claim is particularly ironic. Not only does the resolution not contain any false or misleading information, as the “J.A.I.L.’s Lies” series demonstrates, it appears J.A.I.L. is the one violating that law.

Of course, I don’t imagine we should expect much better from Stegmeier and his California puppet masters. They refuse to talk about the core issues or merits of the initiative. Instead, they’d rather keep blowing smoke up everyone’s rear end. Maybe that comes with the territory when you’re promoting a piece of excrement.


An empty head is not really empty; it is stuffed with rubbish.

Eric Hoffer, Reflections on the Human Condition

J.A.I.L.’s Lies – Part 7

Here is the last (at least temporarily) installment looking at the misstatements contained in the brochure circulated by the proponents of the Judicial Accountability Initiative Law (J.A.I.L.). This one won’t be quite so long because it was somewhat recently explored on this blog.

The brochure says:

Q: If I serve on a jury, can I be sued by a criminal that I help convict?A: Another ridiculous scare tactic. The opposition can’t come up with any valid reasons for opposing Amendment E, so they resort to ludicrous claims like this. In a criminal case, a juror’s sole responsibility is to vote guilty, [sic] or not guilty. This limited involvement in the judicial process precludes a juror from having the ability to violate anyone’s rights, therefore Amendment E would not apply to a juror.

Yet another flagrant lie as demonstrated by the language of J.A.I.L. itself.

According to the initiative, a judge is anyone who can claim judicial immunity. As I’ve previously noted, the U.S. Supreme Court has said judicial immunity extends to individuals, such as jurors and witnesses, for acts taken in the scope of their duties when participating in the judicial process. Thus, a juror (or a witness) falls squarely within J.A.I.L.’s definition of who can be stripped of immunity. After all, even the brochure admits the jury is part of the judicial process.

The J.A.I.L.ers argue, though, that the jury has “limited involvement,” being asked only to vote whether a person is guilty or not guilty. (Actually, in civil cases they aren’t asked that but whether one party is liable to another). Yet in making that determination, the jury not only listens to the evidence, it evaluates it and has the power to determine whether to reject or disregard certain evidence because they believe it unreliable or false. Yet J.A.I.L. says a person entitled to claim judicial immunity (a juror or a witness) can be stripped of that immunity if they engage in “deliberate disregard of material facts.”

Let’s say the defendant in a rape case testifies at trial that the event never happened and, in fact, he was not even in the same city at the time in question. Certainly, that would be “material facts” for his case. If the jury convicts him, he plainly has a basis to invoke J.A.I.L., asserting the jurors deliberately disregarded material facts in reaching their verdict.

Once again, we find J.A.I.L. lying about what this ludicrous amendment actually does. If J.A.I.L.ers are truly interested in accountability, maybe they should be accountable for what they’re trying to foist on the public instead of continually misrepresenting it.


Trickery and treachery are the practices of fools that have not the wits enought to be honest.

Benjamin Franklin

Accumulated marginalia

  • Two former Stampede teammates — Buffalo’s Thomas Vanek and Carolina’s Chad LaRose — will face each other in the Stanley Cup Eastern Conference finals. They are the first two Stampede alum to play in the NHL. Game 1 in the series is Saturday afternoon on NBC.
  • How not to treat your guest of honor.
  • The biggest problem with Scott McLemee’s excellent column is that it could be applied to so many more locations. (Via the wonderful podcast Moby Lives).
  • An interesting Slate piece argues that our sentiment for independent bookstores is little more than an affectation. (Via The Olive Reader).
  • The blog for the University of Nebraska Press ponders why modern SciFi is absorbed more through other media than books. (Via SF Signal).
  • A German foundation plans to create a library of books burned by the Nazis. (Via The Literary Saloon).
  • Access the Great Books is a website that compiles a list of 240 great authors and their works,” including links to online texts, summaries and/or links to more information on each author. The list comes from a program of the Great Books Foundation.
  • The history of the yellow legal pad. (Via Discourse.net).

  • I had always imagined Paradise as a kind of library.

    “Blindness,” Jorge Luis Borges, Seven Nights