Friday Follies 2.6

Stupid Legislative Trick of the Week: A New York legislator last week introduced a bill that would prohibit restaurants from using salt when preparing customers’ meals.

Folly or bravery for a lawyer who may need to appear before the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals? “…two judges from the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals wiped their asses with the Constitution, presumably because their unethical and spineless souls have been eaten by their imaginary friends.” I wonder what he really thinks.

A judge hearing a case against a man accused of assaulting his girlfriend adjourned the trial so he could perform a marriage ceremony for the couple. When the trial resumed, the new bride promptly claimed spousal privilege to avoid testifying against her husband and the judge found him not guilty. (Via.)

It is inevitable that the statement that a 28-year-old man “tried to strike the [police] officer on the head with his penis” would shortly be followed by “The court heard he had been drinking heavily.” (Via.)

Man dies of morphine overdose while celebrating his clean drug test. (Via.)

I don’t know whether rock and roll was involved, but sex and drugs landed a New Jersey man a 10-year prison sentence. An appeals court ruled this week that loud screaming during sex provides “an objectively reasonable basis” to search a home. Police found 15 growing marijuana plants and 12.5 ounces of marijuana in the home. (Via.)

And it seems only appropriate to close with this quote from an opinion by U.S. Magistrate Judge Paul Cleary of the Northern District of Oklahoma: “The Court’s extensive review of these pages serves as a useful reminder that loaded guns, sharp objects and law degrees should be kept out of the reach of children.” (Via.)

I see disaster. I see catastrophe. Worse, I see lawyers!

Cassandra (Danielle Ferland), Mighty Aphrodite

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