Why people hate us lawyers: Jennifer Walzer was charged $6,000 for a review of a sublease. The bill included a $60 charge for responding to a courtesy e-mail she sent that she would review the lawyer’s comments when she returned to the office. Billed as taking 12 minutes, the response said, “I hope everything is O.K. Take your time.” (ABA Journal)
I truly couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried: “A restaurant that refused to seat a blind patron because its workers allegedly believed his seeing-eye dog was gay has been fined $1,500 by the Australian Equal Opportunity Tribunal.”
Interesting argument: A federal government expert reportedly will testify that can’t trust Rwandan witnesses because they are “inherently unreliable.”
Lowering the Bar is looking for the longest known sentence in a legal document. If the contest includes some of the pro se pleadings I’ve seen in the past, the winner could go on for a couple pages.
I call my lawyer. He’s the best lawyer in Miami. He’s such a good lawyer, that by tomorrow morning, you gonna be working in Alaska. So dress warm.
Tony Montana (Al Pacino), Scarface